Saturday, 26 May 2012
I had a pretty good day yesterday.
The morning was spent at home playing with Olivia and nursing a poorly Joshua. The afternoon was spent at the park with two great mummy friends, our 3 toddler boys and 2 baby girls.
My hubby was on night shifts so he had woken up and was able to take over doctor duties with our eldest son.
Once all the kids were home from school we had a nice dinner, chilled in the garden and waved daddy off to work.
Soon after all 5 kiddies went to bed.
Usually I'm quite happy to just chill, and do my own thing when Robs working a night shift! But yesterday evening sadness really hit me.
We have a couple of things going on (as they do) at the moment! And whilst we've been claiming positives over them and believing God for breakthrough, Yesterday evening I just felt sad about them. I felt Defeated, I felt life Was hard...that it's just a continual rat race of trying...trying....trying...I felt sad that whilst many other couples were enjoying a sunny Friday evening together either alone or with friends, My husband was having to work a 12 hour night shift, and I was home alone feeling depleted.
I put a status on Facebook stating my sadness...I wouldnt usually do this...itS not my style to be honest...but I'm glad I did as it prompted my husband to call me from work.
Robs such an encourager, such a strong man of Faith..he is pretty amazing all the time, but especially when I have moments of being a scared, little child. We had a long, honest chat....most of which I was crying throughout....Rob reminded me of Gods words over our lives...promises God had confirmed to him during moments of prayer, he reminded me of how God uses us and the doors that are opening in different areas, he reminded me of the miracles God has already performed in our lives, the ones He's still performing...and the promises still to come. He reminded me that in moments of extreme sadness we MUST change our perspective in order to cling onto the Hope Jesus died to give us. He reminded me that we have eachother, we have our 5 beautiful babies, and that together, with Jesus walking with us, we will achieve anything.
If Im honest, I felt tired after our chat...a good cry mixed with summery heat does that to you. But I went to bed and slept well.
I woke this morning and have ploughed on with mummy duties, cleaned out the rabbit, cleared the washing pile, swept the garden, played Lego my youngest two on a rug on the grass and just enjoyed being here to see a new day.
Then a conversation between my two middle boys reminded me of last night.
Here it is...the chat between Isaac, 5 and Adam, 7:
Isaac: "This garden is too small to play the games we want to play!"
Adam: "Yes, but Isaac, there are so many more games we can play...and look at Olivia...she's small and this garden is like a jungle to her. She loves this garden, and has fun exploring..."
Isaac: "yeh, so!?!"
Adam: "I know, let's get with Olivia and do some exploring..I can get our telescope and magnifying glass and we can make all the small things we don't usually see look bigger. I don't think we should say the garden is too small, I think we should just be happy we have a garden..."
Isaac: "*sigh*..."okay then!"
And they played...and are still playing...finding bugs, making little nests, laughing, enjoying the moment and making the most of what they have..and all because one person was able to change the perspective of how a circumstance was looked at.
It reminded me of The chat Rob and I had last night, and I'm so pleased he had a better perspective than me at that particular moment as with that and the conversation between our two boys, I can now say with Gods peace in my heart:
"Thank you God that We are alive...together. That whilst life feels hard at times, it's not always hard...I know you protect us from much more than we could ever fathom. Thank you that despite the working hours sometimes being hard, that Robert has an amazing job with amazing provision for us...in this financial climate, that in itself is a miracle. Thank you that you DO have plans we can't even imagine over ours and our children's lives...that what we are doing today isn't in vain, but is in your will. Thank you that you love us...unconditional love...that even when we have moments of dis-illusioned perspective, you don't judge, or smack, or scream, or shout...you just wait patiently for us to grasp back onto your chain of hope and get back on track! Thank you that you are you...whilst we make it complex, you keep it simple, whilst we cry in despair, you wrap your arms around us and fill us with your love, that whilst we search for the answers, scriptures, words for 'that particular situation'...you have already completed the perfect plan....you are an amazing God...sorry I doubt you at times, sorry I can encourage others, but at times discourage myself...take my life, my thoughts, my heart, and make them yours...keep me not he right path Lord and help me trust only you ALWAYS...ALWAYS...ALWAYS!"
Today, I pray anyone who happens to read this little random rambling, would have a change of perspective in their situations...they would know your peace and happiness..
Today the mixture of Gods peace and summery heat fills me with contentment :-)