Friday, 13 July 2012
Whilst we can't quite believe she is already a whole solid one year of age, I think if we're fully honest my husband and I still can't quite believe we have a daughter.
I always knew I wanted to be a mummy. And whilst the journey with having our eldest son wasn't easy, God has blessed us so much with five beautiful, healthy children.
Four boys aged between three and nine years, and then little Olivia...who as you now know has just turned one.
We never really planned as a newly married couple how many children we would have, we always thought maybe three or four, and we most definitely never really discussed if we'd prefer a boy or girl each time we found out another mini Omokaro was on the way. Every time another healthy baby was born, I just fell in love with him and enjoyed having fun with my brood of boys...it was kinda nice being the only girl in the house too ;-)
But...I think despite me adoring having four gorgeous boys, there was a part of me that felt God hadn't wanted me to have a daughter as He felt I wouldn't do the job well enough. I suffered with bulimia from a very young age, I rebelled as a teenager and got myself into some pretty ugly situations...I at times can be a real insecure bunny who needs a lot of love and reassurance from those around me...not great qualities to pass onto a little girl...I thought!
Funnily enough though, God was using me within church and places to get alongside other women and young girls and be an encouragement to them..."ah, I thought, you want me to have spiritual daughters...okay, that's cool!"
In July 2010 we had a Thanksgiving service for our youngest son Samuel. After his birth we decided my husband would have a vasectomy as we felt four children was a great blessing and it was time to concentrate on the next phase of life as a family. Whilst at the Thanksgiving service, a friend approached my husband and I and told us she had a word from God for us that she felt she had to share...and that word was that we were gong to have a daughter. We laughed and my husband replied with "we reject that in Jesus name!" I believed it meant we would maybe get alongside a family with a daughter or I would gain a spiritual daughter who needed my support..
A few months later, Robert wasn't able to make his vasectomy appointment as at the time I was really poorly with a horrid ovarian cyst, and was having treatment and procedures done. We agreed we would rebook an appointment as soon as I was feeling better...I felt well for a few weeks but then became poorly again and was given a priority scan appointment. I went to my GP for the results and was told my ovary was healthy, but did I realise I was 6 weeks pregnant.
I remember feeling completely overwhelmed and scared...how on earth would we manage with 5 children aged 8 and under?
But, we knew God would provide and ploughed on with the pregnancy. A few months in, Rob reminded me of our friends words over us about us having a a daughter. I felt silly even wanting to get my hopes up that maybe we would have a girl...God didn't think I could raise a little girl into a strong woman...did He...?
But sure enough when we went for our 21 week scan, we were told we were expecting a "little pink one!" Utter delight filled that room that day. Suddenly the girl who was so proud and happy with her big brood of boys was going to have a little baby girl...God did think I could do it...our friends words had become a reality...many many people shared our joy, and on 11th July 2011, baby Olivia was delivered 2 weeks overdue, weighing a teeny 6lbs10oz.
The past year has gone quick...everyone who meets Livvy adores her. Her four big brothers adore her, her family adore her, my friends adore her, my husband adores her....I adore her. She is beautiful in every way and I just love her so much. I thank God for entrusting me to raise four strong men, but I thank Him too for entrusting me to raise this little baby into a woman...I thank Him that despite my mess ups and ways, He did think me worthy enough to bring this little Squidge up as mine. I thank Him that when we weren't even contemplating another baby, He spoke to a trusted friend and told her His p,and for us...I thank Him that despite the busy-ness and expense of having a large family, we manage...and we manage well. All my children are thriving, they can be naughty...all 5 of them...oh yes, little lady can be a madam already...but they are full of fun, love, wisdom, intelligence and love Jesus so much.
WE ARE BLESSED!
Tomorrow we will be joined by a group of our close friends and family to celebrate all things pink and our little Olivia's 1st year of life...it will be a good day!
Oh and the vasectomy has been re-booked...but that's a whoile different blog post! ;-)
Thank you Jesus xx
Be Blessed :)