Thursday, 13 September 2012
Since starting junior school, our eldest son Josh has held onto the dream of getting into year 5 and trying out for the school football team. He loves sports and has been so excited at the prospect of representing his school in this area.
Tuesday of this week saw him lugging an extra bag to school with his gorgeous, vibrant football kit and boots in, so that he could stay an extra hour and take part in the trials to get on the team.
We prayed for him, encouraged him that Gods was with him and all he had to do was try his best...whatever the outcome we would still love him and be very proud of him. But, if I'm totally honest, all of us including Josh felt him getting onto the team was already "a done deal!" His P.E teacher practically told him to expect to get a place on team and we were all so excited when Josh came home from the practise full of happiness and hope that today he would hear the news that he had indeed been chosen.
Fast forward a couple of days to now, and when I collected the children from school, a very upset Josh came out to meet me. He eventually shared in the car that he hadn't made the team, when many of his friends had, and burst into tears!
At first, sitting there looking at my biggest baby sobbing his heart out, I was lost for words. Whilst I'd had a lovely day with my mum and younger children...Josh had lived a day of extreme hurt and disappointment. After a few moments I drew him into a big hug and just held him close..."oh Josh, I'm so sorry," I whispered.
We began the drive home, and trying to not cry myself, and stay strong for my boy, I encouraged him that he still had his athletics and the community football team he'd been offered a place in but had held out on due to the school try-outs. I told him God had a great plan and although it was hard to see that right now, we would eventually...but his reply surprised me: "mummy," he said, "it's not about the other things I have or could have. I so wanted this, it hurts me that Gods plan is a sad one for me and that my friends are doing this together, that I'm clearly not good enough...if it's okay, I just want to have these feelings..."
I replied that of course it was okay for him to have feelings and deal with his hurt however he felt best, but I also reminded him that, him not making the team didn't mean he wasn't good enough..it simply meant God does have another plan and that sadness would soon turn into joy, that as hard as it feels, sometimes in life we don't always get what we want, but we have to trust that that's because better things are in store for us.
Of course, there is a part of me that wishes my boy had made the team, that at 9 years old he didn't have to experience hurt and disappointment, that as parents, we'd somehow prepared him for this news instead of being overly optimistic, but deep in my heart I honestly do cling onto the fact that God knew my son before he was even conceived...whilst we are his earthly parents and carers, God is the ultimate parent over Joshua's life. He really does know best for Josh....not just Josh...all of us!
When was the last time you felt disappointed? How did you respond to that feeling? The truth is, we will all face disappointment and hurt at some points in our lives....some of us, more often than others...whilst to some Josh not making the football team may sound trivial, to him, it's a really big deal. God knows your heart and life, and whatever your disappointment, hopes, fears and desires, He is in control of them all.
PAUSE & THINK: If you remove the "D" and replace it with an "H" you turn "Disappointment" into "His-appointment!" Instead of dwelling on what could have been and the why's and not-fairs, lets be a generation who encourages one-another to put everything in front of God and allow Him to have His way in us and over us!
The bible tells us in Psalms 55:22 (NIV) "Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall."
What an amazing truth! God isn't just about the good and pretty situations. God is telling us here that He has shoulders big enough to carry our worries...and the heart to bring forth solutions!
All we have to do, is come to Him.
I just want to encourage you today to get a hold of your disappointments and turn them into His-appointments! Use the opportunity to trust in God and see your situation unravel into something so much bigger and better than you could of ever imagined. Hurt may linger for a while...I'm not saying your journey will be completley smooth rolling, but I know He can mend hearts, heal lives, and restore hope!
I pray this for my lovely Josh, who right now is in the garden with his brother kicking a football around. I know when he goes back into school tomorrow and the next days...it's going to hurt. When his friends start properly on the team and share stories and laughs and experiences...for my boy, that's going to hurt. But, I claim right now that God would mould his heart, turn his sorrow into joy, and my little man would trust God as he has done before for a breakthrough like no other.
James 1:2-4: 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Be Blessed :-)