We've had a flurry of illness, and our 19month old is especially poorly with I quote "a virus" that despite following doctors orders of plenty of calpol and fluids is not shifting...in fact I feel she's getting poorlier but having been made to feel that a third visit would get me a smack on the hand by the GP, I'm perserveering with the cal pol...with the fluids...with plenty of hugs, and I mean PLENTY ...and lack of sleep! It's so hard seeing any of your children poorly but when they're still baby-fied and can't communicate what exactly aches and hurts...it's so tiring...
But then an up....our big boys got fantastic school reports and both have improved in certain areas, especially our eldest with his attitude to learning. I received an email from the head today commending them on such good reports which makes my heart burst with pride.
Another up, hubby and I started a new Freedom in Christ discipleship course at our church yesterday. We have a brilliant team alongside us and over 30 guests who just seemed to come in raring to learn and share and it was just such a great first session with everyone. We are so excited about what's in store along this new journey.
Then today, some news which kind of crushed my heart. A hope and dream seemingly dashed in a moment. Something we felt was a God given gift snatched away.... It's made me feel sad I have to be honest.
But...I know I have a choice...we always have a choice.
I could continue crying and asking God why not...why not for us? Why not what we wanted? Why not our prayers being answered...why not our children seeing their hope for something come to them?
But...I can't. I can't sit in self pity for this slow ride down on the see-saw...I have to stay focused on knowing God loves us and has us in His hands.
I have to rest in my favourite scripture
Jeremiah 29:11 ~ "For I know the plans I have for you," declares The Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future!"
Why do I have to do this? Simply answered because 14 years ago I had a choice then too, and I chose Jesus. How He turned my life around then, He has continued and will continue to do so now.
Two thousand years ago He also had a choice...and He chose to give me life...my precious Jesus...I choose you now...despite the sadness in my heart, I choose you...and I want to rest in knowing, no matter how small this may seem in the grand scheme of things, that you understand and you will bring happiness and an almighty up on this see-saw ride!
Be Blessed :-)