Sunday, 3 March 2013

Identity....crisis or secure?!?

Yesterday I had the complete privilege of taking my two big boys aged 10 and nearly 9 to a large shopping centre close to our home and spoiling them with some mum time, retail therapy and a stop at our best loved coffee shop for a much needed catch up together!
The deal was we were to go firstly to their favourite shop - H&M in case you're wondering - and they could choose whatever they wanted. This is the result:

Boys being bold in finding themselves!

This picture makes me smile and conjures up many opinions and thoughts in my mind. Firstly, I smile because I love these little fellas so much. They really are such a blessing to our family and despite having their "moments" we have a great relationship.
Then I can't help but think about their choice of attire...Josh-the eldest....well despite being only 10, he most definitely is a PRE teen. He is like a giraffe in age 13-14 clothes with size 5 feet. He likes the um...skater...hip hop kinda look I guess we could say. Personally, I think he looks a bit chavvy...but it's cool...we go with it, and we celebrate him looking chavtastic  cool and feeling good about himself.
Then there's Adam, age 9, and a little less confident than his big brother. Unlike Josh who spends ages on his hair, takes yonks in the bathroom to get ready and smells like an aftershave counter most days...Adam isn't too fussed on appearance. Also as its clean, fits and feels comfy he's happy. So for him yesterday to embrace choosing this silver Martian helmet cap and angry birds t.shirt was HUGE! 
I did actually LAUGH OUT LOUD when he tried the hat on, but quickly composed myself when he said he wanted to buy it. "Go with it Stace, go with it," I told myself again.....and again!

Why! Why did I go with it? Why did I spend a certain sum of money on clothes I wouldn't have necessarily chosen for my boys had they not been there.
Well the answers simple really. Because I want my children to remain secure in being who God has asked them to be! My boys know they are created in Gods perfect image, they embrace that God has called them to be who they are, serve where they feel led and that they are beautiful in His eyes (and mine, but I'm bias!) We tell them these truths everyday, so they would rest in having Godly confidence everywhere they go, amongst every person they encounter. For me to tell them they are unique, made how God wants them to be, to celebrate their differences, and then tear them down over a couple of innocent outfit choices just wouldn't be right.
We want to be parents who in a safe environment encourage our children to find their own identities and thrive in them. I feel this is so important especially as we are a big family...with four boys so close in age plus a little princess who looks up to them all already, it's paramount they grow up feeling free to be themselves!

In fact I believe my boys can and have taught me about being secure in how I look,the way I serve, the friend I am and the parent I should continue to be.
Why should we care what others think of us? Why should I feel pressurised to have my eye brows a certain width or my hair a certain shade of low light just because others feel this looks good? Why do I continually check out just how big I look in clothes despite losing weight and striving to be healthy?  Why am I worrying about the outfit I should wear to my good friends wedding in a couple of weeks time? Why should I feel boring and sensible in my simple family car, when in fact it's a huge blessing that carries our family of 7 around easily and economically in this season?
I shouldn't! And my friend, neither should you! 
The truth is we all have opinions, we all have different styles and tastes. We all have different giftings, different aspirations and different callings. That's because we are supposed to! We are not here to be clones of one another or to be feeling insecure about what we are. 
God wants us to have confidence in Him and let Him guide us with ALL things...not just the biggie life situations, but ALL things...even our style and materialistic blessings. Why? Because the are all part of the legacy He has created us to be! Before the world was even formed, God knew children...and everyone else around us. He knew where you would be right now in your life, how you would look, where you would work, your dreams, your friends, your family...He knew! Whilst some may put life's successes and short falls down to luck, I believe my Heavenly Father had it all Sussed way way before we can even comprehend.

So a little encouragement on this Sunday afternoon. Be more like my two little PRE teens. Happy with who you are, secure in knowing you're made just the way you are meant to be. That you don't need to match up to anyone other than the person who looks back at you in the mirror. That whatever your situation right now in life, that someone bigger and stronger has your back. 
Simply, just be you! That's all God needs you to be in order to use you for amazing things!

"Lord God, thank you that you have made each one of us unique. Thank you that whilst this can feel over whelming for us mere humans, that for you, it opens up a whole world of opportunities and possibilities. I pray for anyone reading this post today that you would stir something fresh in their heart to rest in your Godly confidence of who and what you have made them to be. That they would look to you to guide them, mould them and place them where you want them to be a blessing to those around them. Open our eyes to the miracle that you have designed in each one of us and help us to embrace how much you love us each moment of everyday! In your precious name, Amen!"

Be Blessed :-)

Oh and a little p.s. My boys were totally encouraging and supportive of me using their gorgeous photo and their names and examples in this post! They even said they could write one on me wearing a nose stud and silly ballerina style shoes! there we go...! ;-) 

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