Friday, 15 March 2013

Mirror mirror on the wall......

Forehead too wide....nose too big...face not symmetrical...a random spot....arms, legs, belly, bum...all too big....breasts...no longer as pert as they were pre-children....shoulders too wide...hair...what to do with it "today"....teeth too crooked....cheeks too squidgy....a frown line setting deeper each day....eyes...still a beautiful greeny blue...but tired looking at times now....

Looking in the mirror is a tough act some days!

Beauty!
Perfection!
A face that "fits!"
Clothes...baggy...tight...too short...too young...too old....too scared to try something new....!
Want to be liked!
Must blend in!
Don't want to be laughed at!
Want them to think I'm good enough!
Insecurity about looks despite the loud laugh and confident talk!

Liking myself is a tough act some days!

Bulimia...invited itself in at age 10...consumed me for 12 years too many
A journey in teenage years that wasnt intended to be travelled....rebellion... self hate... self dis-respect... trauma... self pity... counselling...

Keeping bulimia and bad memories at bay is a tough act some days!

Through it all....Jesus....my saviour, my healer, my friend, my love, my very present help when the enemy comes and whispers in these delicate, uneven ears....saved by His Grace...made in His image... sharing His love... Stacey not yet made perfect...but learning... transformed by His love... Heart yearning for more... mind constantly choosing to rest on Him...

Resting in truth is a tough act some days!

But I know His love won't fail me...won't leave me...will keep me on the right path...will keep me pressing forward...I know He is pleased with me....I know He cares...He smiles down on me... he accepts me as I am....uses me and blesses me as I am....everyday made new....everyday choosing hope!

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall...whose the fairest of them all?"
"Stacey....stop caring and just be!"

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