Thursday, 16 May 2013

Woman to woman....Friend to friend!

I haven't wrote a post in my blog for a few weeks now...granted its been a very busy few weeks for me...a time where God has changed a few things around in my life...all for the good may I add...but this has meant I haven't really tuned in to writing about anything. My style is to write when I feel prompted to, so I've rested in knowing when the time is right, words will come....I think I have a few words to spill today.....

I think I may have spoken about friendship and the roles we as woman can play in other females lives before in my blog. It's something close to my heart as I have had the privilege to mentor and be-friend some beautiful 'sisters' this last few years....but too have been nurtured and loved by some amazingly wise and caring ladies who have given their time to see me flourish.
One thing I have definitely learnt though is that a mentoring relationship is very different to that of a friendship relationship. Before anyone corrects me in pointing out that a mentor can indeed and surely is a type of friend...the direction I'm coming from is that a mentoring relationship has a specific purpose...one person being available to teach, share, (if  you do..) pray with and listen to someone who needs that guidance.
A true, "I've chosen you as my friend to do life with" friendship is quite different. Both people (should) do all the above, but at the same time emotions become more involved....vulnerability is there, on the table...dreams, aspirations, fall outs, children, partners meeting, nights outs, shopping trips, failures, all shared....but with no other reason than this person has chosen you to open up themselves too.

I myself have been hurt in what I thought were solid friendships....it's very hard to move forward when you have been betrayed and in a way dumped by someone you allowed the privilege of knowing your heart to.
I feel it's safe to say we live in a world where women are still viewed as the second class citizen in many situations. And for that reason alone, I really struggle with understanding why some women, instead of uniting and supporting one another, feel it's okay to belittle, betray, gossip about and humiliate their fellow 'sisters!'
Because, that's how we should view each other...in a world where women are violated, stopped from furthering their education, hindered from fulfilling their dreams, ignored, humiliated, bitched about, made to feel insecure by media and false representations of what we should be...we, us everyday girls should be uniting in uplifting the females around us.
And please, don't think here this means I'm stating that I love everyone, I get on with everyone, I'm best friends with everyone, I go for coffee dates with every woman I encounter....because I don't. Mainly because this would be quite difficult to do time wise, but also because I believe God puts the people we should invest time in, into our lives and gives us wisdom in the role we play.....I know God has given me the gift of being relational...being available to listen, encourage and stand along side other women. I try my best to be kind, generous and caring to all the people I meet....but of course I don't gel with everyone.....but how I handle this determines how my heart continues to grow towards others. Do I go out of my way to gossip about, or be nasty to people I don't really consider friends? No...why would I? Do I try and stop them from being all that God has called them to be and discourage them...No....why would I?

I don't really know why these words have spilled....I don't know who they are meant to speak to....but I do know I want to encourage you...and myself...here in this moment, that we have a vital role to play in the lives of those around us. Woman to woman...friend to friend....I yearn for a community of strong, kind, loving and nurturing women. I spent 3 days at a woman's conference recently. Thousands of women together...praying together, worshiping together, crying together, hoping together....I so wanted to stay in that bubble of an environment....but I grasped it with both hands, held onto it, and made the decision I would bring it back home with me...in me...to share...
Lets not be known for being the person to shatter another girls dreams because we're jealous...insecure that it means we won't progress on our journey...girls, that's a lie....no one can hinder the route your on....except yourself..! Lets not be known as the woman who isn't generous, doesn't speak kindly of others....lets be the ones to make a change in a world that wants us fail one another.
Be kind.....Smile....Slow to judge, quick to say hello.... Encourage-even at the times when we need encouragement ourselves....if you use social media, be inviting in your posts.....be real of course.... but don't say one thing and do another.....don't seclude people because they don't fit your idea of perfect....
Just try and be the very nice you that you can be....and that means me too Stacey Omokaro!

Be Blessed....and enjoy being and having lovely friends! Friends really do make the world go round :)

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