Friday, 9 August 2013

Lonely {5 minute Friday}

Today, I once again take the plunge and link up with Lisa-Jo Baker for 5 minute Friday.
An opportunity to write unedited for five minutes on a theme for the week. This weeks theme is Lonely... okay here goes!


When I saw the prompt title for this week, the first thoughts to go through my mind were those of trying to think of times I've felt lonely...to be honest this thinking led to me feeling abit confused, and so I decided to look up the full dictionary meaning of the word...this is what Onlinedictionary.com says... Lonely: Without companions; Unhappy as a result of being without companionship.

I felt confused because I'm married to a wonderful guy, have a very busy house with five beautiful children filling the air with melodies of squabbles, laughter, questions galore and play a plenty, I serve in ministry with a great church family, have loving parents who we see regularly, I have a huge number of acquaintances who help to make life interesting and am blessed with the sweetest circle of close friends who I love as sisters - we make the utmost effort to share life together ~ days with our babes in parks, evenings sharing tales of family life over a chilled glass of vino....or in pjs with tea and toast...whatever the occasion or setting, I have many companions in my life...

.......yet......
Today I realised I have often felt lonely!

I had a little cry if I'm fully honest. I cried because it dawned on me, the times I've felt lonely, are the times when I have distanced my heart and mind from God. I cried because in that instance I felt a conviction of having let circumstance overwhelm me and feeling lonely because no matter how good and honest and willing a persons actions are to help us, the truth is only the peace of God can fill the hole of companionship in messy, upsetting circumstance.
I never feel lonely in happy, easy, fun times....I feel lonely when the going gets tough and life feels daunting. God never shifts His presence, focus and love in either times...but us humans...well we do, don't we...maybe not all the time...but certainly a hefty percentage of the time. We question, we doubt, we pull away from people, and usually, lastly, we try so hard to cling on to biblical truths we've learnt over the years...but really all we need to do is first look up to our Heavenly Father...our eternal companion and rest in His friendship...His love...His promises of Goodness, Fulfillment, Hope, and know that He's always with us...

I want to hold onto this little revelation every second of every day...I want others to know the truth that life needn't feel lonely - and that lonely doesn't just mean a lack of human relationships...that lonely runs so much deeper into our souls...that lonely is, in my lightbulb moment 'a distance from God' It's the absence of His beautiful presence....a presence that can take you into a crowded room of strangers and be your confidence, a presence that can carry you through poor health, financial difficulties, trials of parenthood, marriage problems, and career struggles with a determination of hope, dignity, strength and positivity. 

I'm so grateful for Him....my eternal companion....I need not feel lonely!

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

A Letter to the one who noticed {Letters to}

To....
 My Knight in Shining Armour,

          From a really young age I loved fairy tales. Stories of Disney princesses hounded by nasty step mothers and evil witches.... Beautiful princesses locked up in towers, treated like dirt... suffering at the hands of the not very nice one....until one day, there He is....her knight in shining armour...her Prince Charming...ready to save the day and whisk her away for a life of Happily Ever After....
As a little girl, I imagined myself as that beautiful princess...but often asked myself "who would notice me?"
As it turns out, in my early teenage years quite a few people did notice me...well atleast the rebellious, crying out for attention me... sadly, their intentions weren't to bring me happiness, love me and care for me...they were drawn to the rebellion, the naiviety, the longing to be noticed....
I suddenly found myself living a young life of feeling vulnerable and scared.

Until....one day, there you were!

I'm not totally sure who made the move to speak first...but I do remember your huge smile...the gap in your two front teeth...that you were cheeky and kind all rolled into one. I do remember that you asked me questions about me, you made sure I got home safely when we realised we lived close to me another. And I remember that you continued to build relationship with me, and my "mess" didn't scare you. My "mess" gave you the confidence to tell me about a love unconditional...a Saviour who died for me...a Father who adored me....that there was another way....a way out of being "locked up" in negativity and fear....you showed me Jesus....and you helped rescue me from the not so nice one.

That was 16 years ago now, and here we are today, married for nearly 11 of those years, with five beautiful children and a new story to tell....our story...some fun chapters, some sad chapters, some hilarious chapters and some yet to be written chapters.... but I want you to know that you will always be my Knight in shining armour....that without you noticing the real me....my life could have been so so different. We both know that!
This letter is a public declaration to say that you, my beautiful husband, made my personal princess fairy tale spring to life...and I love you so much! Thank you for noticing me, thank you for sticking with me, thank you for being you....here's to our Happily Ever After.....Amen!

Love Always
Sweetie xxx



















Today, I'm being brave and linking up with the lovely Sabrina at http://sabrinafowles.blogspot.co.uk on the topic of "Letter to the one who noticed!"