Tuesday, 24 September 2013

The love of a sister stands the test!

I've never truly experienced what I imagine to be a "normal" sibling relationship...being the youngest of two children, with my sister having a severe mental handicap has meant the dynamics of our relationship have always been..."different."
Whilst I don't much like the words "normal" and "different" I really hope for the sake of my humble point being made, you can excuse me for including them and open your heart to what I want to say.

My sister is really very special to me and I love her and thank god for her every day, but over the years I've craved having that sister bond I feel I've missed out on.
I have been so blessed to meet a circle of girls who I have had the privilege to share life with...it's a precious thing...letting someone in...revealing yourself...making yourself vulnerable and having them know the full you.
I've been blessed to be able to do that.

But I also know the hurt that comes with realising someone you treasured so deeply in your heart has ditched you. No explanation...no signs of things about to change...just being ignored, pushed out and left feeling like a spare part.
Part of me has naturally felt saddened that someone I thought was in my life for the duration of the race has suddenly had a change of heart...who wouldn't take it like a slap round the face?

But after spending time reflecting on who I am in Gods image, tonight I feel at peace that like all seasons, some friendships naturally must come to an end...no matter how sad it feels. It's not my burden to carry...He loves me, He protects me, He puts the right people around me...
And I've come to realise that whilst her handicap may have made our relationship "different" my real sister...well she loves me so so much and yes, granted whilst I can't share the depths of my hearts worries and desires with her, I know she'll always be there...rooting for me...standing the test of time.
Sometimes I wish Lisa wasn't handicapped....sometimes it feels so cruel. They are the times my friends fill the gap in more ways than they could realise.
The ones who matter and won't walk away unannounced.
I'm grateful for you all xxx



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