This weeks theme is Fight ~ here goes! ~
I never really felt the need to be competitive growing up. I guess that stems from being one of two girls with my older sister being mentally handicapped. There was no real need to have to prove myself to anyone. Academically I achieved high grades, socially I had many friends, developmentally I was always above average, whether that be physically, mentally and at times emotionally. To my family, I was everything my sister wasn't.
This isn't to say she wasn't celebrated, loved, encouraged and treated with respect, because she very much was....and still is. It was just that her life from the start, was always headed in a very different direction to mine.
In a way, without necessarily meaning to, I believe my family had me on a too high pedestal. Sure, I was a good kid - but them seeing perfection in me, made me see the flaws.
I don't say this to brag or because I look back and feel proud of myself but age 10 I was riddled with an eating disorder. The one area of my life I could be in control and make imperfect.
It was so easy to fall into the bad habits of binge eating, vomiting, starvation...but I could never have prepared myself for the fight to break free from it. Habits are like that...grasp a hold of you quickly...allow you to be freed slowly.
Aged 16, and still very much consumed by bulimia, my now husband prayed with me the prayer that began the biggest transformation in my life...the salvation prayer, which began my journey with Jesus. I remember that moment clearly...as I cried and he prayed, Rob encouraged me that the fight was over...someone far greater had fought the battle for me and won...I just had to trust and believe...and let go of the control lever.
16 years down the line...a mummy of five, a ministry leader for children aged 9 upwards...I am free from that battle. In fact I've been free from it 10 years now. And when fresh battles come a hunting me...I remember those words "the fight is over...Jesus conquered it!"
That's the grace of God.
Whatever battle you may be facing today, I challenge you and encourage you to put your trust in someone far greater, pass over that control lever and know you need not fight anymore...It's been fought and won for you! In Jesus name! Be blessed :-)